


The Small Differences Between Then and Now

by minuvoca



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cuddling & Snuggling, Depression, Heavy Drinking, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, cecilos - Freeform, part of the alternate realities arc and the desert otherworld arc at the same time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2018-11-16 10:09:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11250975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minuvoca/pseuds/minuvoca
Summary: What if Carlos was trapped in the Desert Otherworld at the same time that the multiple realities started to fall apart and bleed into each other?For Cecil, having your boyfriend return suddenly from a desert and surprise you on your doorstep is wonderful, until you find out it isn't real and that your boyfriend disappears the second you touch him, and that it will happen tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day...until a year passes in this viscous cycle. What will Carlos find in his home when he returns? His place should remain the same, after all, it's only been one year.Right?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> author would like to point out that she wrote this in two hours and edited it for about zero minutes, so there will most likely be mistakes. and she hasn't listened to every single episode of wtnv, and would like you to know that she loves it just the same, but to please point out if anything is seriously wrong canon wise*
> 
> *for the sake of this short drabble making sense, Cecil and Carlos lived together for two year before Carlos got trapped in the desert otherworld.

Cecil didn’t sleep like that.

Carlos was well aware of the likelihood of drastic changes taking place during the course of a year and of how the entire scientifically defined world relied on its ability to change to survive, but this wasn’t right. Cecil was his constant; in Carlos’ Nightvale life of always changing and often life-threatening variables, Cecil was the one thing that remained the same. Of course, it had taken time for Carlos to adjust to the various habits and rituals that Cecil claimed were absolutely necessary in order to start his day on the right foot. And yes, maybe Carlos not-so-subtly slept with earplugs on Thursdays to avoid being woken up to Cecil’s “Relaxing, Sunrise Yoga,” but he had adjusted! They had worked out their schedules and mannerisms, and had been living together in their own tiny ecosystem for three years. 

Carlos paused, staring guiltily down out the tight ball of blankets and pillows in the center of their bed. They had been living together for two years. His last year was spent in the Desert Otherworld, where he had dedicated his entire life to the science of finding a way back home. At least, when he wasn’t busy being distracted by extremely tempting recreational science. He could have shaved a few months off of his total time spent in the desert if he had just focused on nothing but getting back. But the researcher within him wouldn’t let him simply sit down and get to work. There were too many exciting and new things to discover. Carlos had meant it when he told Cecil that Nightvale was the most scientifically interesting town he had ever seen, but this desert was new and unexplored. Carlos paused again. The ball on the bed shifted noticeably.

In the light of the pale moon that crept through their bedroom window, Carlos could see the familiar contours of Cecil’s face. As always, they were more sharp and vivid in the contrasting light and dark, but they were recognizable as his Cecil. But, Cecil didn’t sleep like that. Carlos knew that Cecil slept in a variety of ways, but he always took up as much space as he possibly could on their large bed. Cecil did not sleep curled up in the fetal position with what must be at least twenty different blankets and pillows. Some of the pillows Carlos hadn’t ever seen before, but there they were surrounding Cecil on all sides. A slight breeze blew in through the window, and the bundle shivered. Carlos watched as his Cecil lifted a hand to grasp sleepily for another blanket. When the hand couldn’t find one, Carlos saw Cecil’s arm stretch as far as it could in the lazy way that sleepy limbs stretch, before falling limp onto the mattress. Carlos sucked in a sharp breath. Cecil did not have scars like that. Cecil did not…

Suddenly, Carlos was aware of a lurching feeling in his gut that sent him dizzily into their bathroom. His heaved violently over their toilet, eyeing a faint red stain on the rug. His stomach settled, and he rested his forehead heavily onto the porcelain rim. Carlos knew what those scars meant. But Carlos had seen Cecil intimately before being trapped in the Desert Otherworld. Unless he had been too preoccupied to notice, Cecil didn’t have any scars like that one year ago. Rising slowly from the toilet, Carlos made his way blankly to the kitchen to get some water. The living room, thanks gods, looked about the same, save for a few take out boxes settled onto the coffee table. Carlos flicked the switch for the kitchen lights and froze. At first glance, it looked barely used. Then, Carlos saw that there were more take out boxes on the counters, with too many bottles scattered in between them. He didn’t remember even owning half the alcohol that was in their kitchen. It wasn’t even his favourite brand of Nightvale’s own beer either. It was bottle of hard liquor after bottle of hard liquor thrown carelessly around the kitchen. Cecil didn’t drink hard liquor. 

Getting a glass out of the cupboard, Carlos went to the fridge to get the water jug. Surely, the water jug would still be in the fridge, humans needed water to live, and Cecil was human. He breathed and bled like everyone else, so Cecil would need water just like everyone else. Carlos tugged on the handle weakly and tried not to curse too loudly at the contents of the fridge. The water jug was there, but that was about it. Aside from an unopened package of bacon, a jar of pickles and what Carlos hoped were not rotting eggs, the fridge was empty. He slammed the door shut and leaned against it, breathing heavily. He was a selfish asshole. He was a fucking idiot. He spent a year in a desert, pissing away time he could’ve been using to figure out a way home on pointless experiments that he did for fun. All while his boyfriend slowly drank himself to death in their home and…  
Carlos rubbed a hand across his face, finding it wet. He was still holding the empty glass in his hand, his fingers turning white around it. He wanted to set it down before he broke it or threw it against the wall. Everywhere he looked the evidence of his neglect stared him in the blatantly in the face. 

“Up for another round, huh? Can’t be satisfied with just one cruel trick a day anymore?” Carlos started and dropped the glass. Cecil stared blankly at him. His eyes were rimmed with red and there were tear tracks all along his cheeks, which were gaunt and sharp with malnutrition. Carlos didn’t have to be a doctor to know that. It was obvious in the way his shirt hung loosely off of Cecil’s body, exposing his sunken collarbones and bony shoulders. It also exposed the scarred and torn skin dancing up and down Cecil’s entire body. The lines were straight for the most part, almost scientific in their placement. Carlos gaped, fresh tears spilling out onto his cheeks as he observed in horror. Cecil laughed hollowly. “I’ll admit, this is a new reaction. Haven’t seen this much genuine shock before…” His words were quiet and slow. Carlos knew he was already past the point of blackout drunk, but Cecil reached for a bottle of vodka laying on the counter beside him. He unscrewed the cap and took a long swig, wincing slightly as some ran down his wrist and onto some of the cuts. 

“Cecil…” Carlos started, his voice catching in the back of his throat. 

“What are you gonna tell me today? That we’re through? That you only came back to tell me you’re leaving for good? That you never loved me?” Carlos whimpered softly and shook his head. Cecil continued, his voice monotone and empty, “If you’re just going to stand there and cry, I’m going back to bed.” He took another drink from the bottle, swaying on his feet. Carlos took small steps towards him, the broken glass still on the floor crunching audibly. Cecil slowed, looking confused. 

“Stop, please. Please stop, Cecil…” Carlos gently took Cecil’s wrist and pried the bottle weakly from his hand. Cecil flinched away and pressed his back flat against the wall. His eyes were shut tightly and his hands were shaking violently. He was whispering frantically under his breath.

“You’re not real. This isn’t real. This isn’t happening.” He repeated the words over and over again, faster and faster until the blurred together into one long string of hysterical nonsense. Cecil raised an arm and scratched harshly at it until it bled, snapping Carlos back to the moment. 

“No!” Carlos gripped Cecil’s hands and held them like a lifeline. “I’m home Cecil! I’m real I promise, stop hurting yourself.” Cecil shook his head, babbling incoherently and struggling to get away from Carlos. “I’m touching you right now, Cecil,” Carlos whispered, letting go of Cecil’s hands to cradle his face gently. “You can feel that, right?” Cecil nodded, sobbing loudly. “Okay, that’s good! That’s really good sweetie, just stay with me, alright?” Carlos pressed a small kiss to Cecil’s forehead. He saw something snap in Cecil’s eyes, and he felt Cecil’s arms winding tightly around his waist to grip the back of his shirt tightly.

“…is it really you, Carlos? Are you real this time?” Cecil’s voice was small and broken in the silence of the kitchen, rough from crying and alcohol. Carlos nodded, pressing his face into Cecil’s neck.

“I’m real, I promise.” Cecil sagged against him, his sobbing slowing down to quiet crying. Carlos held him tighter, cooing soft comfort into his ear. “Let’s get you cleaned up and into bed, alright?” Cecil nodded, subdued. Carlos carefully pulled away from the embrace, keeping one hand entwined tightly with Cecil’s as he led the exhausted man into the bathroom. Wetting a cloth with warm water, he sat Cecil down on the toilet and ran it softly over his cheeks, then carefully raising one of his arms to clean the blood off. When Cecil’s breath hitched, Carlos quickly hushed him and knelt down to kiss Cecil’s knuckles. He quickly washed Cecil’s other arm, giving it the same loving treatment before tossing the cloth into the tub and helping Cecil to his feet. He led them quickly back to their bedroom. Carlos straightened out some of the blankets on their bed before turning to face Cecil again. The shirt he was wearing was stained and had several holes in it. Carlos smiled softly and put a comforting hand on Cecil’s shoulder. 

“Can you take off your shirt for me?” Cecil nodded, slowly pulling the loose fabric off and letting it fall on the floor. Carlos pretended not to notice the scars decorating his abdomen and chest as he took off his own shirt. “Here,” he said, handing it to Cecil, “This should be more comfortable.” Cecil nodded, putting Carlos’ shirt on and breathing deep. He sighed in contentment and grabbed at Carlos to yank him into bed. Carlos followed carefully, curling his body slowly around Cecil’s. Cecil didn’t notice how unusually careful Carlos was being, as he snuggled deeper into Carlos’ warm embrace. Cecil also didn’t notice the tears that dripped slowly onto his hair, or the faint kisses Carlos placed on the top of his head every few seconds, or the blanket that Carlos tugged up to cover them from the breeze still spilling in through the open window. All Cecil noticed was how warm and comfortable he was in his boyfriend’s arms. 

In the light of the moon and holding Cecil tightly in his arms, Carlos swore that would never change again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> update: this was really sad but the second chapter is really fluffy and romantic, so hopefully it'll fix your feeling from reading the first chapter


	2. A Year Later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is really sappy and romantic and cliche, but after everything I put them through, they deserve it :)

They don’t talk about it for a long time.  


Carlos knows that most “normal” people would find the avoidance of the topic concerning at best, but “normal” disappeared the second he discovered Night Vale, and “normal” is relative anyways, so those people can kiss his ass. Even though Cecil’s family and both of their friends have been encouraging Carlos to gently pry the truth about what happened while he was gone from Cecil, Carlos just can’t bring himself to do it. He knows that Cecil is the love of his life, and that if he asked Cecil would likely only hesitate for a moment before giving in, but Carlos knows that he lost the right to ask when he put off coming home the first time. Cecil would deny it if he brought it up, because Cecil is Cecil – too damn sweet and forgiving for his own good. But every time he thinks that maybe he’s let this go on long enough, all the times he stayed in the Desert Otherworld, all the times he chose work over his beloved Cecil flood his brain and he finds himself tongue-tied and stuttering. So they don’t talk about it.  


Instead, Carlos cleans.  


After Cecil had fallen asleep the first night Carlos was back, he snuck away into the kitchen and spent the entire night erasing the months of neglect from sight. He swept up the glass on the floor, threw out the empty takeout, recycled the empty booze bottles, and hid the ones that weren’t empty. He counted them and tried not to vomit all over the freshly cleaned floors. Carlos still felt his skin crawling with guilt after removing the visible mess from the kitchen, so he dug through the pantry and spent the rest of the night hand washing the entire room. He didn’t feel the sting from the chemicals rubbing his hands raw, didn’t feel the deep ache settling into his lower back and shoulders from scrubbing the floor, he didn’t feel anything but the guilt over what he had done to Cecil. He only stopped cleaning that night because he heard Cecil stirring in his sleep, calling for Carlos like a lost child. When Carlos lead him out into the kitchen to get a glass of water, Cecil didn’t mention how the kitchen was suddenly spotless, and Carlos was grateful. Being thanked for doing something as simple as cleaning after he had left Cecil alone for no reason would have only made him feel worse.  


The first week isn’t much better for either of them. Cecil alternates between panicked episodes of delirium and stony silence. Carlos isn’t sure which he prefers. The delirious Cecil can only seem to shake and cry, but at least he communicates in some way. At least that Cecil lets Carlos near him. The mute statue that sits on their couch staring at the wall with glazed eyes only falls out of his stupor to flinch away from Carlos’ touch. Carlos tells himself that it isn’t personal when Cecil lies on the couch in a cocoon of blankets, silent and oblivious to Carlos’ existence. Carlos tells himself that this is Cecil coping. This is Cecil learning to trust him again, getting used to another presence in the house again. He has to be patient and deal with it because, at the end of the day, this is his fault. He can’t judge Cecil for how he comes back to earth, Carlos is the one who put him in the position. He cleans the living room around Cecil, hoping that Cecil can’t see the way his hands shake when he picks up the garbage littered around the room. He sprays the coffee table with disinfectant and rubs it down with a cloth, praying that Cecil mistakes the teardrops on it’s surface for pooled chemicals.  


Carlos goes to bed alone for the majority of the first few nights, but he always leaves the door open. It makes the room almost unbearably cold, but Carlos keeps it open on the off chance that he might wake up next to Cecil one morning. When Cecil’s turbulent moods turn into eleven days of silent indifference, Carlos finally breaks. On the twelfth morning, when Carlos makes them breakfast and eats it alone, watching Cecil sit and stare blankly at the wall in front of him, he can’t take it anymore. He doesn’t realize he’s openly crying into his omelette until he finds himself short of breath and gasping. Then he starts begging.  


“Cecil, baby please, please just come eat something.”  


Silence.  


“Cecil you’ve been on the couch for eleven days, I am so beyond worried about you.”  


He doesn’t even blink.  


“Honey please, I miss you. I know I don’t deserve anything from you after what I did, but I love you and I miss you, I-” his voice wobbles and cracks, “I miss you so fucking much Cecil.”  


Carlos watches Cecil inhale, hope briefly sparking to life in his mind. Then Cecil rolls over to turn away from him. An acute pain pierces Carlos’ heart, and he exhales sharply, his vision blurring with tears once again. He doesn’t even try to stifle his sobs. Carlos’ fork clatters onto his plate as he moves to grip his hair with both his hands. He pulls until it hurts, and then he pulls harder. Every fiber of his being is screaming at him to keep trying, screaming at him for giving up on Cecil, for being too weak to be there for the love of his life, but Carlos can only find the energy to sit at the table and cry. He’s so lost in his self-pity that he doesn’t see Cecil until his blurry figure is standing right in front of him. Carlos’ head shoots up when he hears his gruff voice for the first time in forever.  


“Are there any more eggs left in the fridge?” Carlos stops breathing. His voice is rough and quiet from not being used, but it’s undeniably Cecil. Carlos gives him a shaky nod and watched with bated breath as Cecil slowly pulls the chair out and sits down. “Can you…would it be alright if you made another omelette?” Carlos bites his lip and tries not to cry, this time from relief. He gives Cecil a watery smile instead.  


“Of course it is, Would you like some bacon too?”  


It gets better after that. Conversation is still awkward and stilted for what seems like an eternity, but slowly and surely, they relearn each other. They watch a lot of movies and documentaries, both hating the tense air that hovers between them when it’s silent, so they fill the silence with anything and everything that isn’t talking. Carlos pretends that he doesn’t have the day Cecil first laughed after he came back memorized, and Cecil pretends that he doesn’t stay awake late into the night to breathe in Carlos and memorize the feeling of his form next to him. Then, one day, the awkward air just seems to be gone. The pair had just finished watching a documentary on sharks when Carlos runs a hand through his hair and shudders. He really needs to wash his hair.  


“I think I’m gonna take a quick shower,” Carlos says as he stands up from the couch and turns to hallway leading to the bathroom. Cecil nods, but looks hesitant. Carlos decides not to push it and grabs a towel from the closet. He hears Cecil’s voice from the living room and nearly drops the towel.  


“Do you mind if I join you?” Carlos swears he forgets how to breathe in that moment. With a shaking hand, he grabs another towel and takes a deep breath, then peeks his head around the corner.  


“You can if you want to?” He doesn’t mean for it to come out like a question, but it does, and he cringes internally. Thankfully, Cecil either doesn’t notice or finds it endearing, and smiles.  


“I would like that very much,” He walks over to Carlos and takes the towel from his hands easily, throwing an amused look over his shoulder as he walks into the bathroom, “Are you coming Carlos?”  


Needless to say, it’s not a quick shower in the slightest.  


It seems like their life goes relatively back to normal after this moment. They stop tip-toeing around each other at home. Cecil goes back to work, much to the joy of Station Management and the relief of Carlos. He and the rest of Night Vale had missed their golden-voiced radio announcer dearly. Carlos starts going back to his lab, picking up where he left off on his multiple ongoing experiments. His team of scientists is excited to have the old Carlos back, telling him this much while they’re working. There’s only one noticeable difference in him. Now, when Cecil texts him that he’s heading home, Carlos immediately begins wrapping up his experiments and goes home. The lab is closer than the radio station, so Carlos always beats Cecil home and greets him with a warm smile and a flurry of kisses, leading him into the living room to hear all about Cecil’s day. They slowly fall into this new normal. Carlos would be lying of he said he didn’t miss working in the lab until he felt the satisfaction of finding the solution to his latest problem, but the look on Cecil’s face every time he greets him in the foyer and kisses him like an overeager teenager is always worth it.  


Before either of them knows it, it’s been a year since Carlos returned to Night Vale. The day before the anniversary it pops into Carlos’ mind and refuses to leave. He resolves to celebrate with Cecil in one way or another. The next morning when Cecil leaves for work, Carlos kisses him goodbye, giggling like a schoolgirl with a secret. Cecil notices and points it out.  


“What’s got you worked so worked up today? Maybe I should stay home, do you have the flu or something?” Carlos gently slaps his shoulder and smiles mischievously.  


“Don’t worry about it. Just look forward to when you come home today,” Cecil blushes and grins, kissing Carlos one last time on the corner of his mouth before closing the door softly behind him. Carlos takes a deep breathe and turns around. “Alright,” he whispers to the empty house, “time to get to work.”  


///  


Carlos had just finished adjusting everything for the twentieth time when he hears the lock on the front door click. Letting out a nervous breath, he steels himself and sits down on the couch in the living room, waiting patiently. He hears Cecil call his name from the foyer and bites his lip, resisting the urge to call back to him. He hears footsteps growing louder as Cecil makes his way to the living room. Finally, he sees Cecil standing across from him, slack-jawed and in awe. The room is lit only by candles. There are rose petals on the ground that trail around the coffee table and into the hallway. Cecil’s eyes find the coffee table and the two glasses and a bottle of red wine on a platter placed on top of it. The table is also littered with what Cecil’s knows are his favourite dark chocolate truffles. He looks up at Carlos with warmth and love in his eyes.  


“Carlos, my dear, sweet Carlos, why?” Carlos stands up, walking over to Cecil and placing his hands on Cecil’s shoulders. He stands up on the tips of his toes and presses his face into Cecil’s neck, feeling Cecil shudder as the other man’s hands fall instinctively to Carlos’ waist. Carlos’ lips find Cecil’s ear.  


“I’ll explain everything later. For now…” He trails off, rubbing his hands from Cecil’s shoulder to his chest, and back up to the collar of his shirt. He breathes deeps. “For now, just let me take care of you.” Carlos can practically feel the heat radiating from Cecil’s face as his hands play with the material around Cecil’s neck. He takes a step back to clear his head and check on Cecil, studying his face for any sign of hesitation or discomfort and, thankfully, doesn’t find any. He smiles and takes Cecil’s hand, gently pulling him in the direction of the bathroom. “Okay?” He asks quietly, smiling shyly up at Cecil. Cecil nods and follows behind Carlos in a daze. When they get to the bathroom Cecil gasps again. There’s more candles set up all around the bathroom, giving off the pleasant aroma of vanilla and what Cecil thinks is jasmine. Rose petals are also scattered haphazardly on the ground, leading up to the bath. The water in the tub is tinged with pink and sparkling. There are more petals floating in the water. Cecil gapes at the room around him and turns to face Carlos.  


“Carlos…this is-” He cuts himself off with a sharp inhale. In the short amount of time that it took Cecil to survey the bathroom, Carlos had stripped himself of his clothes and was suddenly very naked. Cecil feels heat curl at the bottom of his spine as Carlos chuckles and takes a tentative step towards him. His hands find the buttons of Cecil’s shirt and slowly undo them. When Carlos finishes the last button, he runs his hands up Cecil’s chest and pushes the material off his shoulders. The shirt falls, forgotten on the floor. Carlos presses closer to Cecil as his blunt nails trail back down to the belt of Cecil’s pants, causing Cecil to let out a quiet grunt. Carlos smiles and places gentle, open-mouthed kisses onto Cecil’s neck, making quick work of the belt and letting it clatter to the ground as well. His hands hover over the button of Cecil’s jeans. He works his kisses up to Cecil’s ear.  


“Okay, Cecil?” In response, Cecil’s snake up Carlos’ body and tangle in his hair. He tugs Carlos towards him. Carlos melts in his hands as their lips meet. They kiss desperately, neither of them wanting to be the first to back away, but Carlos eventually gives in to the need for oxygen and pulls away, gasping for air. Cecil takes one look at his blown pupils and swollen lips and surges forward to attack Carlos’ neck. Carlos moans unexpectedly and laughs at Cecil’s eagerness. “Cecil, wai – oh god – wait a second!” Cecil immediately pulls back.  


“What is it Carlos? What’s wrong?” Carlos smiles at his partners concern and cradles Cecil’s face in one hand, tracing his cheek with his thumb,  


“Not yet, okay? We have time for that later,” Carlos smiles and kisses Cecil gently. “We have all the time in the world. I’m not going anywhere.” Cecil smiles and nuzzles sweetly into Carlos’ palm. Carlos brings his other hand up to hold Cecil’s other cheek, kissing him again. Carlos sighs happily and steps out of Cecil’s embrace. “Now take off your pants and get in the bath.”  


“Yes sir!” Carlos laughs openly as Cecil quickly rids himself of the rest of his clothing. Carlos steps into the warm water and leans back against the edge of the tub, gesturing for Cecil to join him once he’s comfortably situated. Cecil carefully sits down in the tub and presses backwards until he can feel Carlos’ chest against his back. Carlos wraps his arms around Cecil’s waist and holds him snugly. The couple sighs and cuddles into each other. A comfortable silence falls over the room. Carlos is hesitant to break it, but he knows it’s necessary.  


“Cecil?” Cecil hums quietly. “You asked me earlier why I did all this,” Cecil hums again and nods. Carlos opens his mouth to continue, but finds that no sound comes out. He knows that this could go very badly. Cecil hasn’t had a bad episode in so long, but something like this, something like remembering how broken he was the day Carlos came back from the Desert Otherworld, might push him right back to where he started. Cecil can feel how tense Carlos suddenly is and turns slightly to face him.  


“You can tell me anything Carlos, it’s okay,” Cecil feels Carlos smile against the back of his neck. “But I understand if you can’t. Or maybe you don’t have a reason! Maybe you just wanted to pamper me today.” Carlos laughs. “That’s fine too. I like being pampered.”  


“Today is the one year anniversary of the day I came back from the Desert Otherworld.” Cecil freezes and Carlos’ arms. Carlos holds his breathe.  


“…Oh…”  


“I’m sorry if this ruined the mood, but that’s why I did all this. I wasn’t sure if you would recognize the date, but just in case, I wanted to do something special,” As he speaks, Carlos’ words speed up and become less and less confident, “I didn’t want you to feel alone today.” Cecil says nothing. Carlos quietly begins to panic, grappling for something to say that might bring his Cecil back. “It’s just that I really love you Cecil, and yesterday I remembered how sad you were when I came back and I didn’t want you to feel like that again.”  


“Carlos,”  


“I figured that if I did something really romantic it might help you forget, but then I had to go and bring it up,”  


“Carlos.”  


“I’m so stupid obviously being reminded of how horrible you felt when I was gone wouldn’t be helpful. God, what was I thinking, fuck-”  


“Carlos!”  


“…Yes, Cecil?” Cecil turns around fully in the tub, eyes shining.  


“I love you,” Cecil throws his arms around Carlos’ neck, hugging him tightly. “Thank you for doing this.” Carlos flushes and wraps his arms around Cecil.  


“You don’t need to thank me honey. The least I could do is try and make you feel good after what I did.” Carlos frowns, lost in his thoughts again. Cecil pulls back from their embrace and tips Carlos’ head up with a finger.  


“Listen to me Carlos. You’re here now, and you’re bending over backwards to make me feel like a king. I’d be crazy to stay stuck in the past when you’re giving me everything I could ever want right now.”  


“But…” Cecil places finger over Carlos’ mouth.  


“None of that. You’re here and you love me. That’s all I need from you to know that you’re not going to leave again.” Cecil leans forward to place a kiss on Carlos’ cheek, smiling warmly at the man below him. “Would it make you feel better if I said it again?” Carlos nods. “You're here and you love me. And I love you Carlos, and,” He removes his finger from Carlos’ lips and cups his chin, “I forgive you.” Carlos smiles and throws his arms around Cecil, crying onto his shoulder. Cecil rubs a hand soothingly down his back, kissing the top of Carlos’ head. “You don’t have to take care of me anymore, okay? We’ll take care of each other now.” Cecil gently pulls Cecil off of his shoulder. “Okay?”  


“God I love you so much Cecil!” Carlos surges forward and kisses Cecil suddenly. It’s messy and raw, but it fills both of them with warmth that dances throughout their bodies. Cecil pulls away and grins.  


“I love you too. Now, if you don't mind," he leans in close, his lips barely touching the shell of Carlos' ear, "I’d really like to see what else you had planned for tonight.” Cecil runs his hands over the tops of Carlos’ thighs, watching Carlos’ face flush deeply and his breathing quicken. “The water has gotten pretty cold, do you think you could help me warm back up?” Cecil winks. Carlos laughs and wipes his face with the back of his hand, letting himself be guided out of the water by Cecil’s hands. A year ago he wasn’t sure he would ever get his Cecil back, everything was too different. But now here he was, grinning at Carlos and tugging him eagerly towards their bedroom. Carlos decided that, in the grand scheme of things, eventually some differences were bound to be good. He smiles slyly back at Cecil.  


“With pleasure”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayyyyy after all this time I finally fixed it. they will remain happy and healthy bois from now on.


End file.
